The Caring Resource

The Power of Gratitude

Caregivers -- Ask your loved one, "What are you thankful for today?"  It may be the gift of love, how blessed the person feels to have someone who cares for him, or that he's in his own home.  If the person's in a facility, maybe it's the lady who comes by to give her a little smile or stroke on the cheek.

And when you write it down, what a great thing.  So get a dry-erase board, put it within eyesight fo the person and write "Today's Thank You" across the Top.  Maybe it's just one thing: "Tell me something that good today.  Oh, it's beautiful outside.  Let me turn you so that you can see the gorgeous sun!"  Then write, "Today's  a beautiful sunny day." Add the date, and maybe a pretty picture.

Before you change it, write it in a notebook.  Then when your loved one is having a particularly blue day, you can say, "You know, I know today's not a good day, but remember last week when the Girl Scouts came and sang..." Revisiting a positive memory may make a day that isn't such a great day, a better one!

Serena  L. Brock

Caregivers - To be more thankful, be more observant

Have you ever been laser-focused on a goal?  Just like a horse with blinders, put your hands on either side of your eyes.  You can see that goal. At the moment, I am staring at two candles in my room.  I can see the detail on their columns, but they are not lit.  When I take one hand away from my eye, I can see that the one candle is actually lit.  It's making the room very comfortable and relaxing.  Caregivers, because they have so much on their plates, and their time is limited, are really focused on what they've got to get done.  If the caregiver can take the blinders off, see that little piece of beauty -- perhaps something as simple as the new blooms on your roses or that finally, the road construction project has been completed.  But if you are in the moment of "have-tos", you don't necessarily open yourself up.  Yes, it's a matter of training, but it's not hard.  It's a conscious effort on your part to stop momentarily and just look around.

Serena L. Brock

Caregivers -- Take Time to Care for Yourself

It's easy to fall into this trap -- If I do something for myself, I am taking away from my responsibilities to those I must take care of.  Absolutely not!  You have to readjust the lens through which you look at your actions.  Think about an exercise routine -- walking 20 minutes a day, or enjoying a long soak in the tub with some relaxing music and/or soothing candlelight.  You need to tell yourself -- this is not a selfish act.  This action is allowing me to be strong enough to do what I need to do.  As a matter of fact, you are giving a gift to the person for whom you're caring.  It's a selfless act because it's making you strong enough to do what you've got to do.

Serena L. Brock