The Senior Years: Part Two

You Are NOT Alone

Your mother is recovering from a broken hip, and she is unable to keep the house clean or do her laundry.   She refuses to go and stay with your sister, who lives closest to her. You and your brother are exhausted from providing 24-hour care for your father. You live across the country from your mother and worry that she spends too much time alone. Dad needs daily physical therapy and special medical treatments, but he can't afford a nursing home.

Situations such as these are very common today, especially amongst the sandwich generation. Most aging parents prefer to stay at home even when their needs for care are great. As a result, families take on care responsibilities, which may involve estate planning, managing medical treatments, assisting with daily activities and dealing with issues around dying.

Too often, adult children feel that they should take care of everything themselves—a point of view some parents may encourage. However, caregivers who get help with tasks and relief from pressures are, in fact, less likely to burn out and better able to provide long-term support for their parents. Where can you turn for help?

Community-based services that can help older parents can include everything from help with household chores to around-the-clock care. In both my professional and personal opinion, I would suggest researching and speaking with 3 different agencies before making a decision. You will discover a variety of unlicensed and licensed agencies that offer the following levels of help:

• Companionship services. These services may include companionship, home supervision, telephone reassurance and friendly visits..
• Help around the house. Homemakers and chore aides do basic tasks such as laundry, cleaning, cooking, errands and shopping.
• Meal programs. Meals can be delivered to the home or eaten in group settings, such as senior centers. Check with your local aging office to see what meal programs are available in your area.

Health care

• In-home nurses and therapists. Registered Nurses (RNs) and Licensed Practical Nurses (LPNs) provide skilled care as set by physicians, such as monitoring medications and teaching recipients and their families about special care procedures. Professional therapists provide respiratory, physical, speech and occupational therapies in the home. Sometimes these services are covered by Medicare, Medicaid or other insurance.
• Home health aides. Assistance with personal care tasks such as bathing, dressing, eating and exercising. These services may be covered by Medicare, Medicaid or other insurance.  If not eligible, private pay aides are available through agencies.
• Hospice care. Hospice care involves professionally coordinated support services, including pain and symptom management, social services, and emotional and spiritual support for the terminally ill and their families. The care is provided both at home and in other settings. Medicare, Medicaid or other insurance may pay for hospice care for eligible people.
• Adult day services. Local centers provide structured, comprehensive programs, including a variety of health, social and other related support services during any part of the day. Costs vary dependent upon the older person's needs. There are also private, more specialized centers in some metropolitan areas.

Serena L. Brock

Comments

[Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.]

What a great post, Serena. We hear so much about the problems faced by Sandwiched Boomers caring for parents growing older and children growing up. But it's rare to find so much practical and valuable information in one place. Thanks!